Does the husband have nothing to say with me?
The question aptest to meet in the general marriage - -Linking up the question among couple. As to intellectual, the marriage is not only that couple two people follow the beaten track, this copy enough to the limit each, need, have each other all sorts of interdynamic, show loving care for, share with like. These interdynamic showing loving care for and with share, must finish through two the intersection of people and smooth communication. Discussed and analyzed by the careful association, we find, Mr. A is no doubt a person who tries not to offend anyone, without bad hobby, but that one is quite clumsy on the ability to communicate, very egocentric person. He fear wife have different from him opinion often, he think can't outargue wife crying shame even more, he thought even more men and women have basically already been different, did not make the necessity of mutual understanding through communicating at all. A Madam though work hard want, link up bottleneck by break through among gentleman, but made some mistakes on the skill. The interest in gentleman lacked of understanding and did not say, acted with undue haste so that the gentleman can't submit progressively, also the factor that she fails. It is to neglect causing to link up the question for a long time, include the conflict in idea inside, with the skill that is expressed. A Opportunity and skill that communicate that madam is anxious to be good, and careless, only caused the increase of the pressure each other finally, and in order to escape or quarrel solving, cause the problem more and more serious. B The gentleman's example is very easy to present in the general family. The man is after getting married two or three years ago, the gradual one does not regard going home as the pleasure. But escape the chains of the family by method of all kinds. Some bury oneself in the work that can not be finished on the pretext that the undertaking is busy with; Some replace ice-cold family life by eating, drinking and be merry under the pretence of treating with courtesy more, some smuggle and fill in the inanition of heart with the emotion. Propose: Solve couple and link up the problem without having fixed method, the individual character, personality speciality, job characteristic of the properties of looking at problem, two people, make with hobby,etc.. But can still sum up some principles for reference. 1.Couple should know: Promote the communication among couple, it is not the homework of agony beyond the conjugal relation, but safeguard the essential course of the conjugal relation. Unless you do not want to have a happy marriage, the words that take, must pay suitable energies and time on two people's communication. While learning to communicate constantly, couple can enjoy the mutual love even more naturally, far than try, remedy easy much after not communicating, taking place problemming. The study communicating is a kind of devotion of the spouse, it is a kind of enjoyment too. 2.Couple communicate requiring, must have linking up occasioning and time fixed by two people most basic. Will link up questions among couple in the future in order to avoid, when it is good for two people relations of couple, had better two people can introspect linking up time and occasioning fixed together, if yet, should agree on together. There is no harm in, calculate one come week, couple how many times two people sit knee to knee long to talk about together really, how on earth it is long each time. The discovery that general couple will all be surprised, though they live together every day, also say some words more or less every day, in fact there almost is not the time that two people have a heart-to-heart talk, share together. So couple must appoint some occasions or moments, and mustn't alter easily. The time like dinner of every day, two people wash the time of the bowls and chopsticks together after a meal, half an hour before want, sleep, each week stroll or get, it takes light restaurants to be kind opportunity outside of a few, and will not influence the usual work. This kind of agreement that two people are free or just does when the mood is good, but two persons of couple ' date importantly ', two people should go all out. 3.Love be must express constantlied, it needs love to be mouth difficult to turn on into heart. Someone often has some specious ideas. For example the couple who have got married for many years should not stick to each other like glue or lacquer when the picture has been newly-married again; Couple two people want, solemnly, need undue I of you you you in daily life; Whether or so long as heart has love it is all right, might not express. These ideas have very great damages in communicating. In fact, the love will not only come out but also say, the constant one lets the other side know that love he (she) oneself ,Love needing the other side not to stop either. As regards theory of communicating, must be absorbed in the other side everyday between couple, it had better be the new strong point of finding the other side every day, and willing to say his strong point out in front of the other side. For example thank some a course of today of hers for cooking very well; The ones that thank her and receive the colleague while visiting work hard; Can buy a very practical thing from a lot of homes with the meagre salary while thanking her . Attention: The love or grateful sentence said out, must not turn into wornout lingoes. You had better have a new discovery every day, so long as absorbed in the other side, these discoveries are not very difficult, and you are the more grateful, the more express, the other side's advantage will be getting more and more. Just as laying bricks and building the house, there are not the communication and encouragement in these, the house of the love can not be built. 4.If the spouse has obvious symptoms that does not often like to communicate with you, when or each communication has a phenomenon of impatient, or quarrel, must pay attention to some following principles: Stop one's own linking up the behavior first, must not go to a great length, does not discuss that clearly unwilling to stop, let relation break only finally, make chance recovered to link up to be less and less instead. When the other side has no sincerity with communicating by oneself, oneself had better resign from office thinking calm: Do some special questions make the other side vexed? ,avoid not discussing again these themes,even if those questions is like a fish bone getting stuck in the throat for you, have to speak out. It is in front of some third parties, is the spouse easiest to enrage? ,avoid those third party. It is in some particular time, does not the spouse have patience most? (The general housewife likes pouring out, complaining about heartily the gentleman when the gentleman came off duty to just come back home most, because madam has already inferinned for one day at home, in fact that is the worst time. ),it is don't here that moment communicate (Have already born for one day, might as well bear for several more hours. ) Don't discuss topic that oneself like, feel first spouse like discuss those clearly? The precondition of the good communication is that yourself must be a very good audience. Not merely gaze at his look, listen attentively to every sentence that he said, the question in right time (not interrogate) ,The ones that made him more interestingly said, glad or sad with him, such an audience is the most popular. Be careful, after listening to the other side or it's his turn to listen to you, while having a question to communicate, can't you mind very much whether to know you are thinking of any about the other side? Or What do you want? But lay a good foundation first - -Let the other side know you are the best target who he communicates. Have the foundation, all messages of you (used in a passive sentence)
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