The real sexual behavior is " The deformity " (used after an attribute)
A maxim says, " the real love is odd-shaped " in the west . It is kissed that it is typed though there is not such a maxim in our China, a proverb is named ", it is the love to scold, it is a disaster that not made and does not scold " . Though the two come from different culture background, phenomena reflected are all one: The love can be expressed in way that does not like. If you can bring this kind of understanding to listen to the special topic that we are drawn by a letter tonight, will think a lot of seemingly strange things are not strange in fact in the sexual life. This letter was written to us by a man. He says in the letter: "It is said, have one abnormal to shout, maltreat overbearing sex, I afraid we the intersection of couple and they both have this danger. We get along very well usually, each other very cordial place have, get bed we become rude. Especially my wife, she often catches and hits to me, once unexpectedly break my left shoulders by the teeth. Curiously, I disgusted with to this, think, have amazing very instead. I often pay special attention to making the behavior too, she feels satisfied too. Do I want to know, are the couple like us normal? " It seems that we had already carried on the simple answer to such a friend's letter not long ago. Doctor Li, does not know how did you answer in the face of this friend's letter? I think, should let this friend rest assured, have some boorish behaviours in the sexual life among couple at first, neither abnormal, but also very normal. According to someone in foreign countries' investigation, presented the behavior of catching, hitting, nipping, scratching etc. when 5% of the couple of - 10% pass the sexual life in U.S.A., and can receive the fun greatly from it. If it is a bit similar to maltreat these behaviors and sex, can only say " the play is cruel " ,Because their both sides have reason very much, handle appropriately, does not pursue the circumstances that can't bear being stood like pervert, so will not just bring the real injury to the other side as pervert. Seem, through the the intersection of friend and reality not reflected, I feel let the masses of the intersection of audience and friend, also include me, a puzzled one is: Why can't make love with gentle way affectionate couple, want until means of violence come to sexual life almost? Yes. This is exactly what essence of the question is all about. In daily life, the married couple with deep emotion will not treat the other side by rude means, even speak a sentence of coarse language and afraid of injuring the other side's heart. At the time of the sexual life that but been, the thing often becomes different. Relevant investigation show, get in the sexual life come oning the relation of daily life, both sides can get pleasant sensation too, but obviously intensity is not enough, and too implicit. In order to pursue strong pleasant sensation, must require that there should be certain efforts in sexual behavior, for example a lot of men like changing many kinds of postures to insert the penis the vagina more deeply, uncertain because this movement can bring greater pleasant sensation, but because of passing movements effectively violents, can aggravate the upgrading of pleasant sensation. Then, you can until some that show sound movement should appeared to seem, act as some explanations to the intersection of audience and friend of us in sexual love. I can analyze concretely " Grip " This movement. In the health consultation of the sex, I find, in the rude sexual behavior, " grip " This movement is more general. Someone says, no matter the man bites the woman or the daughter bites the man, want to leave the other side the seal, I think how many reasons this kind of view does not has. About the appearance of this movement, I have my own explanation, do not know whether audience's friend could accept. We know, it is the most ordinary loving movements to kiss, often use too during the preparatory stage of sexual life. With the upgrading of pleasant sensation of sex, this gentle movement obviously makes and lacks efforts. As the emotion that people love is aggravated to the intensity to the utmost, do not know how to express one's own feeling, will upgrade kissing to gripping to nibble naturally. According to your analysis just now, the movements of catching, nipping, scratching etc. in the sexual life were to embrace, stroke the upgrading when pleasant sensation is strong in the sex. Yes. I think at least it is such. Soft movements can only express the gentle and romantic emotion, strong pleasant sensation can only be expressed by more excited movements. This is reasonable. I want very much as a woman to know from your analysis, these movements that shouldn't appear in the course of the sexual love appear, whether have reflected the man oppresses or ravages one kind of the woman's. I think at this moment must have a lot of woman have such idea of yoursing, but this kind of idea is unreasonable. There is an investigation result that may exceed people's expectation in sexology, that is the person of the movement of adopting, catching, gripping, nipping in the sexual life etc., women obviously exceed men. Think carefully, you will feel this is reasonable too: Men operate and finished by him specifically as the initiative one of the sexual life, if he thinks that it is necessary to aggravate stimulating, can well enable the strength on sexual intercourse movements. Women do not have this facility, though they can participate in the sexual life with initiative spirit, but can only accept and wait to reach the concrete behavior when being had. When they think that need to express the strong emotion, will open up the path separately, movements of catching, gripping etc. are unavoidable. Some women think, the woman adopts the boorish behaviour to the man, the essence is to reflect that is hostile to psychology to one kind that men occupy. I think, this is that a kind of mistake not in accordance with objective fact knows too. The reason why women should treat men with abnormal way, is obviously held very much by love, need to be too strong, it is very good to experience. If not so, women can well take the attitude of showing no concern for it. So, it should express that joyful that the man abnormal to this kind of the woman's behaves, don't think this was a behavior out to lunch, but should realize clearly, at this moment in women have already entered extremely excited, pair of strength that you only applaud one more, can bring you two into the brightest realm, so long as you are the correct attitude responsible for his capital to oneself. Doctor Li, through your analysis, I think this friend writing a letter can be satisfied. Have one the intersection of question and me think you should explain for you, this the friend the disease nature not got out of maltreat overbearingly in letter again. OK. It is overbearing for sex to maltreat, we call it as " sex maltreat disease " now It is a kind of disease very difficult to define. At clinic, sex maltreat disease include passive the intersection of two and behavior that take the initiative. A marquis in France was named putting Germany in the past, he liked exerting and maltreating women in life, has described a lot of abnormal phenomena of this kind of sex in his work too, so, Kraft-Ebing that is to like maltreating others, the life disease of maltreating voluntarily By name to spread Germany's phenomenon (Sadism) ,Chinese translates into and constructs the cruel disease. A state-run novelist of land fertility was called Massock in the 19th century, he himself one maltreated the disease patient passively, have described a lot of this kind of abnormal sexual activity in his works. So, the passive one maltreats disease and is named as Massock's phenomenon (Masochism) ,China translates into and receives the cruel disease. About " it is cruel to construct "ing " it is cruel to receive " in sum You still have to continue explaining. Construct the cruel disease patient and exert the painful and psychological torment on the human body to sex targets loved, thus obtained the relief. Receive the cruel disease oppositely, the requiring target exerts agony and torment of the heart body to oneself voluntarily, and the relief that the sex that could arouse him so is excited. Row one very much difficult line strict when being ill normal. We had already just now said, in the sexual life of the normal adult, sometimes at the time of the reaching happy climax, both sides can present the behavior of cursing and beating, nipping, gripping slightly etc., without the overweight injury and it is not by arousing excitement of these behaviors, do not maltreat disease. Even the real one maltreats the disease patient, its behavior motive does not lie in paining others or oneself on purpose either, but these can make to maltreat their arousing excited mood. Even and run into a piece of trouble of couple construct the cruel disease but another one is that one receives the cruel disease patient exactlying, if can not injure heavily, happen to complement each other, both sides can be satisfied, but this kind of situation is extremely rare. Only one party maltreats the disease patient, no matter that suffered from is to construct the cruel disease or receive the cruel disease, the other side can't stand, this kind of marriage is different to sustain.
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